10 strong years of computer, 2 years of internet pregnancy, few years of application abortion

and this is anniversary...

Myspace 817 (banyak spammer, on off je...)
Facebook 112 (not bad la untuk strategi malas yang tak sampai setahun...)
Friendster 205 ( yang hidup segan, mati tak nak.... mungkin sebab kawan2 yang Mache dulu)
Deviantart 63 (yang tu, orang tengok kita..... yang kita tengok orang tak kira, tak aci...)
Livejournal 15[+yang bersifat tak mutual 2, jadi 17 la]
anything else i forgot?

do you know my window to the world is computer?
call it part my life,... ok la, half of me.
untuk orang yang buta IT maybe can consider it dead.
loneliness is worse.
but Mel, friends are nowhere, family are farther.
me is entertainment for me, me and me.
computer and nintendo 8 bit is working life on duracell. the matrix.
and i see you there. how dare i to look at you elsewhere.
though i did scroll apartmental catalog recently homelessly.

siapa yang menulis utopia music, you said?

r.i.p alternation a.k.a rock it her way. 2006 - 2008

now we present you, airplay. (sebut macam The Feed).

Genocide by The Offspring
I keep telling Hilman Hajijan, "Its 'Donkey Kong Everyday' they said in the song", sedang ayat sebenarnya ialah, "Dog Eat Dog Everyday..." Itu selepas dekat sedekad tak aprreciate album Smash. and DED, you love the band too...

bila putaran hidup kembali ke trek asal (tapi diri jadi makin purba)

... maknanya kena buat balik, from zero. soal diri sendiri lah...
tapi orang lain, dah kawin, dah tunang. seksyen 2 pula , kata apis, penuh dengan gadis. terhibur la jugak. "tak apa, apis. pandangan macam ni tak pernah tua. 6 bulan sekali diorang polish. datang yang baru... segar selalu. tak le macam kampung dengan orang tua... "

girlfriend didnt work. she met new friends.
boyfriend awak living this not normal life. 2 tahun tak kaya2. kena tipu for straight 10 months dalam bentuk motivasi. unfortunate. ummu pula diketuk hatinya supaya jadi lembuh. tapi tak dapat tidak menafikan rasa diri bodoh at 4 am.
mencari bandmembers, sorang kat kerinchi. yang kat s alam ni plak tau nyanyi je. "aku pun nyanyi, beb! mana boleh 2 orang nyanyi. aku ni gila kuasa! takder, takder,... ko kena belajar gitar, aku tak kira!"


susah nak menaip menda alah ni.

sepi is my middle name , really. mana ada orang hidup at 3, 4 am... ko nak buat call time camtu? boyfriend dia marah nanti. this way:

"u,.... u can't call me.... my boyfriend...." malas nak txt.

but all in all of a sudden i miss everyone. my timeline (between may 06 till november) prove there's nothing wrong with me, but now, i'm dying. darkness imprisoning me. all that i see. absolute horror. i cannot live, i cannot die. trap in myself body my holding cell.

saat ditinggalkan seorang diri...

kali terakhir saya melihat maman ialah ahad lepas, makan goreng pisang depan tv.

semalam, tv dah tak ada. saki baki goreng pisang yang dah lemau walaubagaimanapun masih di tempatnya. berbaki, membikin bakteria.

maman dah tinggalkan rumah ni. ultimately. sooner, botak, adik dia, ali katak. maka tinggallah saya sorang diri dengan kenaikan sewa sebanyak 2 ratus sejak hari tu. ouh, tadikan, depan pintu sempat saya lihat notis pemotongan elektrik sebab tunggakan 3 ratus.

no tv, lead to no dvd player, or mp3 layer. audio player whatever. elektrik dah nak potong kan?

semalam hari jadi saya. saya sering lupa harijadi sendiri. terlalu memikirkan untuk menggembirakan orang lain (tu pun gagal). dia kata , saya tak buat kad harijadi untuk diri sendiri... why should i? i don't even have your painting...


adinda2 saya yang tak pernah bagi wish, send a regard: "busy sangat ke sampai tak perasan text message adik sendiri?"
kekanda zanariah yang bakal menemui hari bahagianya sabtu ini pun berbuat demikian.
"ada kek?" tanya saya. "ada, warna putih 3 tingkat. tapi kena balik kampung, potong sabtu ni." itu kek awak lah, za! saya nak kek coklat!

saya seboleh-bolehnya tak nak memikirkan kisah silam. no i didn't. i wish i could be more sane. but to break things down,..... tahun ni saja saya terima like..... 4 wedding invitation, ouh wait, 5 from close friends. which means, they now are more about their companion. saya tiada rakan rapat di sekitar shah alam.


saya teringat rumah sewa yang naik sewanya. kalau ikutkan hati, saya dah menyampah dah nak duduk kat situ. kat section 17 pun. susah nak gi kl! dah masuk tahun ke 3, mana tak sedih.

saya memikirkan painting-painting besar kat rumah, yang bakal dibalut dengan kertas tetapi tak punya tempat penyimpanan. berkotak-kotak buku, komik, majalah.... erm,... kena sewa lori ni. saya nak bawak rice cooker je. saya nak masak. maman dah angkut dapur sekali.

saya seorang diri sekarang. tulisan ini, bagamanapun sangat kecil untuk didengar khalayak... supaya tidak saya dibelenggu kesunyian.

editor di majalah bertanya bagaimana dapat dia membayar kerja-kerja grafik saya yang saya buat ketika masa percuma saya. entahlah, saya tak pandai nak kira. i did half of magazine like,.... 7 days? tapi, rekod pantas saya lah.... tak mungkin saya minta more than a quid. even i think i do it for percuma, macam masa saya juga, including the writing and illustration. i'm so into it. saya cuma dibayar jika membuat benda yang saya tak suka. tak ikhlas bunyinya kan?


kerana duit dan masa.... dan keinginan, saya masih menyimpan rahsia tentang keinginan saya. maaf, dear.... nak sori , tunggu hari raya.

tapi menguburkan keinginan lebih membuatkan saya derita.

i'm packing now... but i dunno where to go.


Currently listening:
Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven by Godspeed You Black Emperor

People complain everyday, but who hear their voices? : Collected random thoughts

"I will let you down, I will make you hurt..." - uncle trent

------------------------------------------------------------

i read this thought in Wired magazine, from game designer on how he love to cook.
just like making game, it require preparation.
just like making art, don't you see?
- saturday, june 21, 08. 10:20 am


lunch everyone.
- monday, june 23, 08. 01:18 pm



"awak suka saya tak?"

suka. tapi nak panjangkan ayat tu supaya tak nampak obvious sangat which goes:

"...terhibur la jugak." (sambil senyum...)

wait, wait,....hold it! did we ever heard that line before?
or better, wasn't that stolen from an actual event?
that concludes our broken heart today.
- monday, june 23, 08. 05:56 pm


life's not as easy as we thought, dear.
and we're not about to live together for a day or two.
and not for a day or two you're going to throw away yourself from me.
cruelty, beastly.

(sigh)

wurk, wurk, wurk.

(yay!)

(and that includes, saturday, hell! i wish sunday too. but i have Monopoly game with my nephew. so,... sunday is skippable.)

flea market, damn!

- tuesday, june 24, 08. 12:00 pm


terma susah senang hidup bersama mati lain-lain dah tak wujud dalam era digital. duit minyak.
kalau boleh, anda nak semua disediakan, everything's served. breakfast on bed.
- tuesday, june 24, 08. 03:36 pm


I already had a bad day a the office. so, no, thanks for your concern to give me more on morning while i'm on my way to work, in my sleep even.
- wednesday, june 25, 08. 05:30 pm



filem saya bertajuk "Tunggu". proses menghasilkan filem tu buat saya tertunggu lama. tunggu first computer for editing process. first video camera, first crew, casts, band to be with for score and soundtrack.

and the story resolve around the people.... yang menunggu.

   seorang mamat yang kerjanya menunggu bas pergi kerja setiap hari tatkala tak dapat menahan diri dari menyeranah perkhidmatan yang makin lama makin teruk macam beruk tak kebah langsung dengan keputusan pilihanraya dan pengecualian duit minyak.
   seorang gadis yang sampai ke cerah menunggu boipren-nya (sebut 'boipren' macam dalam filem 'Masam2 Manis' lakonan P Ramlee) masuk meminang, bagai menungggu buah yang takkan jatuh. dalam proses ini, penyeksaan jiwa berlaku. anda bakal terkejut melihat siapa sebenarnya mangsa penderaan jiwa ini.
   2 pasangan di dunia virtual menunggu bila tiba saat berjumpa di dunia sebenar. because in your fairy tale, i am the wolf.
 
all this attention makes you thinking that you're the queen or just the girl w/ the red hood.

   ye, saya tengok filem Sepi semalam. tiket free untuk 2 tapi tengok sorang, balik sorang. saya tak pernah ke tayangan wayang waktu malam perdana sejak menaiki pengangkutan awam menyukarkan perjalanan pulang. tapi saya buat hal, tengok juga,... sebab dia. janji ajak makan yang sepatutnya, tidak berlaku. saya tak mahu pulang awal dengan hati lara. so, i had a thrill ride watch the movie. dengan sebarang kemungkinan bakal stuck di kl jika tertinggal bas terakhir.
   yang menyentuh saya cuma melihat satu famili: seorang ibu, seorang anak perempuan, seorang anak lelaki. dengarnya si ibu tak pernah bawak anak2 ni pergi premier movie macam ni. si anak excited nak tukar kupon (yang diberi bersama pas masuk percuma) dengan popcorn dan coke. bahagianya...
   company saya di kiri, pasangan yang sangat peramah sesama mereka ketika filem berjalan. si perempuan dah tahu semua perkara2 yang bakal berlaku dalam satu adegan sebelum adegan itu berlaku, lalu menyebut "kereta terbakar", "boipren die dah mati", "anak die", "masuk longkang besar".... spoil betul....

   by the end of the movie, 'tank' saya penuh. damn!

   tapi by 12:30 saya tetap selamat sampai ke rumah ketika terbayang bakal tidur di bus stop (dan sukar ke tempat kerja esok). let say, destiny has brought me here. safe and sound. so, can we have another thrill ride? hell yeah!

   (to conlude, the movie 'Sepi', w/o those interuption during my cinema experience that day, is damn good for the lovelorn on the first half. happy ending killing us all.)

--------------

karekter Afdlin Shauki dalam Sepi relate with someone else's wedding.
remember the early scene when he made that cake?
he embrace it.

my job too, relate with people's wedding.
i don't even care about it before, the actual visual, the bride expectation, their reception.

now i have to embrace it too. (baca : bridal magazine)

- friday, june 27, 08. 11:38 am



morning eulogy (i think the morning bus just hate me which is fine)

[use quote from Morning Sad from Veruca Salt]

complaint letter to RapidKL incoming with 'blitzenius' id on it. publish on local tabloid.
- saturday, june 28, 08. 10:48 am



actually i had my teeth grind within week. causing head ache, unconciousness.
it just feel better now.
better with work et al. eating, digestion. eat, eat, eat.
(maybe it's payday...)
punctuality except. yeah, RapidKL at its worst.
- thursday, july 03, 08. 12:59 pm



case study : girlfriend

the more i became passive upon conversation, the more she heating it up. maybe she don't want angelic type male figure as her companion due to the fact her world is on fire and no one can save her but herself.
peace on earth (w/ questionaire).
miss digby favour a music made by uncle trent, even met him, and ran away by star-struck. [n] has a serious question to miss digby. which album by uncle is her favourite.
- friday, july 04, 08. 10:11 am



lupa nak bawak mag Wired dengan feature Ridley Scott. that nifty little thing,... kekadang perlu during working hour. keep us awake.
- friday, july 04, 08. 10:31 am



(ouh, i remember that girl.
everytime she show up in art school, my heart beats w/ 'f' word.
still.)
- friday, july 04, 08. 11:19 am



we save lotsa false light by turning 'em into black.
(pandemonium to our monitor screen. false light is a tribute to Isis, the band.)
- friday, july 04, 08. 03:06 pm



Maya Karin ingin memberitahu satu dunia tentang pilihan hatinya, perkahwinannya. Suratkhabar, headline semua muka dia je.
   Maya, ingatlah satu episod dalam rancngan Gene Simmons' Family Jewel. Kata Gene kat bini dia:

"sayang, jangan beli satu Amerika!"

Manakala terma 'kurang kasih sayang' telah diguna pakai sejak berabad dahulu, cuma tidak diekspreskan (diluahkan) dengan kata-kata. Melalui perbuatan pula, ia amat sukar difahami. Terlalu kompleks, hinggakan di muka surat 32 saja telah ada 17 jalan cerita.
- saturday, july 05, 08. 11:04 am



(enjoy the) silence and karmacoma

all 'friends' (they can be in questionaire too), the phone calls, txt msg, cyberactivity, the voice, the in-depth appearance, they don't breath.

i'm in hideout.

i mean, working on stuff. and they won't help much now.
but i love the praise, a little.
- monday, july 07, 08, 11:08 am

enthusiasistic in package.
masa birthday yazid, i remember sarah bagi comic that was drawn by billy tan (i always remember the late michael turner. his stroke that build top cow a reputation.)
   in past few months. those thing didn't happen anymore. well, u know, i'm 27. sarah get married since years. that was by friends; girls and boys (not in companion context).
   mixed tape make a hit again. [n], the only hope in rock, putting a mixed CD. when you're left empty, you wanting the experience for more.
   that's came up after the idea of NIN Ghost I-IV self-print.
   you want a great price in photo print, call me.

what's the catch?

   you make a mixed cd full of mp3s of rock thing, seal 'em in a package, and sent me, so the printing work went smoothly. you got a great bargain there.

plus, i'm bored...

- friday, july 11, 08, 10:44 am




sebenarnya ketika karya Christopher Nolan tahun 2005 'Batman Begins' keluar, orang masih tak mahu memperkatakan betapa bagusnya filem ini. sesetengah orang masih trauma dengan crapness filem Batman terdahulu, 'Batman & Robin ketika era Joel Schumacher. sesetengahnya pula tak dapat menerima dengan rekaan Batmobile yang dah jadi tank, instead it's close to our reality.

   itu saja.

time & money, they're good game. good wicked game.
those 2 were informed in Pink Floyd's dark side.
how serious they're.

counting how much bills you made after month for a collage artwork, is a good game too.

- tue aug 26, 08, 10:34am




take my word. when
i'm below one grand. than you guys.
take my word, dear.

this is pregnancy.
and the birth is difficult.
but end result is beautiful.

"they steal our minutes..."

works consult idea of living, really.

nailed. break down the form and rule.

- sat aug 30, 08, 03:23pm






you wanna know something [n], you're something i can never have...

wujud lagikah terma kekasih siber, awak?

"A hiccup in paradise
I keep you jealously to myself,
In a photo the size of a kiss,
A kiss in the shape of a bullet..."

tengah sibuk dengan kerja harian kan.. tak termasuk kerja luar yang jadi creative driven obnoxious filter dreyfus. (rasanya semua orang sibuk, tapi assume aku ni yang terlebih masa terluang, when i couldnt even hold my breath), datang kekasih siber lama.



semua urusan tergantung. sekejap.



kekasih siber.
kekasih siber.
siberian kiss.



tapi saya dah jarang dapat online, awak. terluka saya nanti. awak nak jerit kat shah alam ni, ntah2 saya dah pindah. ouh, perkhidmatan talian mobil. tunggu, tunggu.



2 tahun saya tunggu tak tiba utusan yang dinanti awak. tunggu 2 tahun lagi, ibarat kita hidup 1000 tahun. 1000 tahun takkan mungkin.

itu yang awak panggil jerit saya sang kekasih siber?

Ramadan & Eid 1429

[ Current Location | Sect 17, Shah Alam ]
[ music | Explosions in the Sky - "First Breath After Coma" ]

discovery channel anyone?

Things i discovered between our halting years

(2 tahun lebih, awak... you know nuthing actualy. tanya hidayah evariel...):

- deaths
- blindness
- pain, stain w/o

automobile
- my bloody valentine
- neorosis
- autolux
- sunn o))), o'malley, burning witch
- decibel
- sam dunn
- paul romano
- justin borucki
- travis shinn
- beautiful decay
- aereogramme
- shelby cinca
- isis
- peter saville
- john dyer baizley
- the last person at Alternation (now rename again, fomerly Rock It Her Way) radio counter who made her name on local public in '07
- alfons mucha, dead
- ride
- joshua davis, live
- horse the band, live
- short span attention
- once, the movie
- nazri ahmadeus, the writer
- breakdown
- seldon hunt
- stephen kasner
- ayu raudhah
- plotkin
- explosions in the sky
- ladytron
- fear & loathing in las vegas
- 1984
- color code in ireworks.net, ire works, the music
- paul pope's batman 100
- shynola, live
- dethklok in metalocalypse
- wired
- jesu
- robot chicken
- blissful attendancy at panggung coloseum, saturday 12 pm. malay pop/pulp culture revive
- adobe anything cs3
- anexxe cm
- blade runner 25th year
- fincher's zodiac
- nolan's prestige (next to the illusionist)
- romantikarat
- have been stray from religious practice
-
-
-

things we discovered on papers & television:
- uncivilized black people make living in setapak
- cursed public transportation
- lisa surihani + menteri kabinet connection
- dying lad who never give up for presidency who never make way to the young
- kabir bhatia, film that made after beautiful people, i guess. not me (superficial, eh?)
- nasir wahab still live in the 80's (judging by "cassette sales' scale report"). hi nasir, welcome to the 21st century, planet earth...
-
-
-

they inspired. however, those things , in these 2 years still (sambil melihat jam di pergelangan tangan, imaginary hand watch since i only see my time at mobile phone) could not make me 5 grand richer because of these 2 facts: time, money.

time & money, they're not with us.

unless i decide to kill one of 'em, time exactly. my hibernating time, to break down this 'could not' mathematics.

and for a moment i could not marry you in this language corrupt thought world, stranger.


saya juga belum bercadang untuk menanam rahsia.
simpan sahaja. tunggu masa untuk dikeluarkan.

sebaliknya, ada misteri yang belum terungkai sejak 2 tahun lepas itu. dia dah lupa pun apa yang dia patutnya sebut dulu, instead cut off the line and declare rival nemesis.

ya Allah, kalau boleh aku tak mahu ingat sangat perkara yang lepas. start it all over again, she said. this weight i lift, it so heavy. ada beban yang tak tertanggung.

but then, we sell till we got nothing to sell anymore.

-------------------------

not breath online

anymore.
not as frequent as

before.
consider dead or long

sleep.
kekasih siber.
susah tu awak...
bercinta dengan komputer,
hantu mesin.
heart divided. splashed.
soul in wound.

the world w/o computer ,... almost

my right hand started to have big bad bruisesss. an unlikely equavalent to workout to Greg Puciato, unfortunately i started to felt weak.

no tradiional art.
no digital art,.... the possibility of the medium to happen can be measure to lightyears.
i wanted to kill the housemates so bad. i begin to feel that they're the reason i'm dying , out of work of art, books, calculus core hooligans, stimulatous conversation.
i'm living w/ idiots who bring-in the girls almost every nite, fornication, fornication, speed.
i started to write in my head.
sometimes i rather be at work, 24/7. what the hell w/ living.
unfortunately, dayjob still unable to pay my rent, debts, bills, death & texas.
this is the end of an escape artist who kept his coma diary in his head. i keep writing, writing ....... in my mind. hidden treasure they will be lost. i'm not making any money (oh, i did, but the salival transfusion still not happen).

i'm not happy anymore but still keep cool. dope. this stomach knots.

they said "move out..."
8 months from now.


* Mood: Sarcastic
* Listening to: "Black Bubblegum" - Dillinger Escape Plan
* Reading: "Siapa(w/o quesionare)" - Aadi Salman
* Watching: Punch-Drunk Love
* Playing: afternoon overture
* Eating: Squiggles, oh crap...
* Drinking: Ace

Horse The Illustration

[ Current Location | The Office, Sunway ]
[ mood | cold, tadi banjir.... saya kebasahan ]
[ music | Horse The Band - Cutsman ]

sape2 yang pergi tengok Horse The Band, 30 Mac lepas kat MCPA Hall (dekat monorel Maharaja) sure had a good time there watching the only band in their own subgenre they created, which is Nintendocore.

They're amazing!

Before they were here, i made this illustration in hoping to make it as a gig poster but left unfinished. Maybe in a few days,.... i'll post the complete version as well as photos from the said gig.

p/s: the final illustration can be seen here.

march

it came to the point that my hand start to draw many lines.

good thing.

explosions in the sky : feb 19 , 08 in kl

ini ialah sesi interview design job petang tadi,.... bukan sembang2 pasal music, but it turn otherwise:

"you watch the band playing last nite?"
tak pegi, though i love the band. it came to the point that i'm going to see the wall of sound in front of me, w/o me moving much... i want to move. but the band make me listen still. what kind of life i've been thru these few months. i'm sorry. i love the band. i wanted to see them, but i've been thru this tough moment. (mcr,... did sucks...)
"they're great."
lucky both of you...
"so what's next?"
bleeding through , horse the band. if you love to get injure... it's hardcore..
"so these bands, i never heard of before."
trust me, worth having 'em here,... than some kind of bands. those bands i mean.
"are you into hip hop?" (ni sebenarnya soalan pasal design, bukan muzik. ambil perhatian...)
aaahh..... let me be honest. i hate hip hop.
"nah, it's not like we hate the music. but having a kid that into into hip hop makes our job getting difficult..."
i did some stencil work here.... (sambil tunjuk artwork...), on my past years i did some stencil graffiti, but not because they call it one of hip hop element. i did these because ..... Delta break the rules.
"what you're into?"
in sense musical meets visual aesthetic, there's this old dude whose his work is what we call 'in psychedelic genre'. he's from UK. get your latest Metal Hammer copy. he rips Mucha heavily. John Baizley came in fill the shoes. but it's the dead lad named Mucha, man...
"i see you're passionate about music judge by resume. i love music as well..."

next thing i know, i told him to tune into this government based radio station by Thursday nite ( hi Maya!)...

we then exchange work sketchbook. and i continue...

there's..... a hardcore band... or a metal by now,.... that's mathematically challenged. they need to consult dice and health insurance. everytime they perform, hell break loose, some bandmembers get injured. broke their feet. rotator cuff ache.

(at this moment i felt that i'm not telling everything. we're having an interview, dont we?)

i boast a lot!

it seems unusual, i'm not even sure either i get the job or not.

but i try to be polite and human being as possible.

w/o computer, w/o strong design job for months, playing zombie, isolate myself in the library alot for the sake justice for art practice,... i become dangerous to myself.

but i take this gut to allowing myself for this interview. people worry about not having their business card design they print attached inside their portfolio bag as it will not completing themselves. but i only having an illustration of this hardcore band (never been published in Deviantart. Zuang nak cilok, tapi kalau dia nak beli pun aku tak jual...) and Maya Karin turn into zombie. my bedroom. Chino Moreno poster color art plastered over McD leaflet. utter rubbish. rakugaki.

all i know, if having a conventional design job interview today, i'm going against them. they turn me off.

having a job at record store, they think i'm 'too seroius, put a smile on your face' by means 'your CV is heavy, dude, leave it to those loser who are not educationally challenged'. great, i spent too much on Wikipedia on saturday nite while they waste 'emself at reality show.

thanks for reading the latest edition of Galvatron. and Sue Anna Joe, tell those kids we';re not done yet with t-shirt education.

senireka kemeja t bagi seorang mangsa fesyen

sebelum anda memberi sebarang konklusi sebab apa saya tak kemaskini blog,.... for like half year, dan tak surface in any design and art world, let just say: saya tengah sakit sekarang.

i didn't use computer like i used to in half year and still not using it. hell, i'm not even have it!
saya mengumpul katalog komputer yang entah bila akan dibeli, macam tak akan dibeli pun. Zack : "Kita sudah broke...... ayah sudah lama tidak menghantarkan wang. Ha! Panjang umur ayah...."
masa untuk kerja kreatif telah terbunoh. jika dulu catchphrase saya ialah the man without money, sekarang lebih teruk. the man without money + time.
i lost lotsa thing, many things will come.
i got a nerve damage.

rotator cuff, they're aching!

kegiatan saya sekarang ialah mengumpul dana untuk kerja seni saya,.... at the same time, i had to pay the bills, menahan senak melihat housemates yang kerjanya merempit dan fornication (bercambah sejak lebih setahun)... kerap kali saya tidur di taman tasik ( "Dengar kata kau merajuk?" "Dah tua-tua takde masa aku nak merajuk..."), .... kerja mengumpul dana melalui dayjob ini menyebabkan saya melihat senireka dari pandangan seorang observer sahaja, bukan pengamal.

kids..... living life with art alone, that's hard...

tapi saya terpanggil menulis blog ni selepas post blog Sue Anna Joe tentang senireka t-shirt dari,..... kita boleh panggil pereka generasi baru. dah bangka betul saya ni. kalau tak menulis menda alah ni, saya baca WIRED je,.. urut bengkak di tangan. i'm not good at t-shirt design. lebih teruk saya ialah mangsa fesyen. tinggal di pulau terpencil, anda boleh jadi sarkastik jika anda ditanya tentang senilukis/reka. anda boleh beri jawapan yang tak sepatutnya. tapi pakaian ialah keperluan untuk manusia. t-shirt is product for a dying masses. anda bukan hanya memakai t-shirt untuk berlagak cool, tapi dah dekat 100 tahun anda perlu pakai t-shirt sehinggalah anda insan yang bakal keluar dengan fashion statement yang lain. time tu barulah t-shirt jadi tak laku.

ouh, we talk money dont we.

oh, yeah, i dont even have a penny. i could grab anything i could wear it on my sleeve. thanks for the gift (baca: pemberian kakak, girlfriend, menang contest...) i hardly bought a t-shirt. tak tau kenapa. senang bosan? i dont have pride to wear it? tak jumpa benda yang aku cari? kalau itulah jawapan dia,... what Sue wrote maybe right. saya tidak melihat senireka t-shirt sekarang yang Sue cuba bangkitkan sebagai seorang konsumer. tak macam orang lain. (aku je lah yang lain tu....) that what makes kebanjiran label t-shirt,..... which is not promising. some looks the same. some look cheap which you could put blame on highly priced application.

our country is driven by money, not education nor creativity and/or creativity education. nilai kreativiti masih murah, at least i think. it's not something we call motivational.

so, since past 6 months saya banyak pergi ke library, kedai buku, comic store,... ambil nota. belajar kembali jika ada sesuatu yang tertinggal. we should share things, macam saya pergi rumah awak, kita tukar2 lauk. dah muak makan ayam, ada benda masuk dalam badan saya. 2,3 hari jugak la patah selera... tapi nasik bukhari awak nampak sedap. tengok awak makan dengan begitu berselera pun , rasa macam saya yang tengah makan.

but then i wish i could step into indie label clothing store,... and grab something. didn't happen still. me and you has to work harder.



if i could remember t-shirt, that would be:
- Nine Inch Nails (every NIN t-shirt would be an item, kerana insan yang bernama Gary Talpas. sampai sekarang saya masih cari dia...)
- Ministry (jika industrial ialah nama untuk muzik, Ministry punya imej untuk t-shirtnya. saya jumpa di Kota Bharu, berebut dengan sorang kawan. entah jadi hak siapa sekarang ini.)
- Bush, Razorblade Suitcase tour t-shirt. (saya rasa inspirasinya datang dari senireka Vaughan Oliver, pereka UK.)
- Tool, Aenima era. (Ambil logo Tool dan letak apa saja imej membelakanginya, buat orang tertanya-tanya. Bila imej itu dikenalpasti, saya jadi pissed off sebab terasa gelap betul seni mereka.)
- Joy Division , Unknown Pleasures (siapa la yang nak lawan Peter Saville. tapi seni minimalisnya yang pada mulanya hanya digunakan untuk seni kulit album, sebenarnya boleh diaplikasikan di mana-mana kanvas,.... dari atas t-shirt ke tapak kasut. imej degupan pulsar itu sahaja, buang tulisan Joy Division seperti yang saya lihat dijual merata-rata. )