For the first time I said, it’s Eid. So, be-light.

We start with, fakta nombor on our trip for hari raya (selepas diberi pelepasan seminggu) : filem pertama pada hari ke 28, hari ke 2 terakhir sebelum raya ialah Wool Cap. Khabarnya, Silverchair - ‘Frogstomp’ bakal jadi airplay sebelum berbuka puasa. Seperti hari-hari tenaga yang meluap dahulu. Not happen. Walaupun hanya track pilihan ‘Faultline’. No. Sebaliknya, Megadeth. Album era digital dalam bentuk kaset. Kes kita: leftover di ofis, kaset ini perlu diberi judgement. The same with The Charlatans.

Then I have kids playing around house. Di rumah, Kampung Nibung, Panji Alam, K Terengganu. Itu saja motivasi saya. Kemudian, berbuka dengan keluarga. Kami semua duduk bersila di atas hamparan tikar. Dengan masa yang saya ada hanya sekitar 24 jam sahaja, saya mencari baju Melayu baru, menggantikan baju Melayu yang lama, yang dipakai sejak 6 tahun dahulu. Itu pesan bonda tahun lepas tapi tak ditunaikan. Saya kurang arif dalam memilih baju Melayu yang sesuai. Tiada kompeni yang boleh diharapkan untuk memberi pendapat ke 2. Saya masih ingat yang saya bertanya kepada seorang intern sebelum pulang ke kampung:

"Kedai yang awak jaga tu ada baju Melayu tak? Nak beli ni. Serius ni…"

"Baju kurung je!"

Saya hampir putus asa sehinggalah saya ingatkan kembali pesanan bonda itu. Pesanan itu juga yang menjadi rencana buat kalian untuk Aidilfitri ini. Kekanda Azlina jadi penasihat peribadi. Lepaslah RM50,… selepas selamat RM50 yang sekeping lagi untuk set meja makan dapur. Kononnya untuk meraikan waris kami di sekitar Terengganu yang bakal melakukan Annual Eid Trip. Not happen. Why you ask? They get sick. Today’s Eid went cold just like the rain that won’t stop from falling. And ayanhanda refuse to drive to Tok Ki’s mansion.

And you know what? There’s no more Tok Ki’s mansion. Perish since this year. Now he live with Ayahanda Muda for the rest of his life leaving his wife at Kampung Laut. His wife is my 2nd nenek tiri since the death of Nenda 6 years ago (the same age of my ol’ baju Melayu biru. see, why it’s hard for me to change it. Saya telah disumpah untuk tidak menukar baju Melayu! I wasn’t at her funeral… Itu balasan buat cucu derhaka. )

So, it’s color purple, the new baju Melayu. It has nothing to do with the title of Gogol Bordello’s song I played on my radio show. I wish it was blood red but time has kill me just like a sunspot.

Tengah saya siap pakai baju tu di hening raya pertama, I got a buzz of msg from ‘perkara yang tak pasti’. (Cari pengertian tentang ‘perkara yang tak pasti’ ini dalam satu bab di blog MYspace saya. http://blog.myspace.com/blitzenius ) It read:

"I surrender, no. I’m not selling my soul yet but I bound for forgiveness from a living creature that once I knew before the day he die. I’m not wish for this sin to be brought to my grave, and it’s cracked and hacked, leaving people in wonder if there’s tiling ritual happening."

Oh, you’re so sweet. To make it safe, I make my robot answer it. It’s 21st century. "Eid Wish. With Compliments - Nazri Ahmadeus."

Did I said something like: "You’re forgiven, zahir dan batin." ? Tidak kelihatan. But there’s a sign.

I never recieve a reply since then. But I wish her soon-to-be-’wife’ boyfriend choke seed with the size of my palm on his way to pick her up for Raya and her parents playing saucer.

Ok, I try to be funny, and it didn’t sound funny. I know. God bless you annoying thing. God, forgive me.

It’s raining for few seconds leaving people all around the world stuck at home with Maya Karin. Hilman Hajijan coming to my mansion on very first day with his wife, yang mengidam nasi dagang, katanya. Allah mendengar doamu. My sister the 2nd had packets of duit raya envelope to be given to anak2 sepupu that never coming for this year, unlike previous years. She had a thought that she will bring those envelope and give to ‘em directly when she pay a visit. So, she’s on the mission.

And later, the 2nd and 3rd raya didn’t feel like it anymore.

Until I left my kampung on the fifth day of raya Saturday with Kekanda Haryani, my sister the second, as she drive.

Still, at this moment, people never ask me : "What you hate the most? What is displeasure in your book? " As one said to me: "So, you think everybody like you?" "I never said that." "Everything you said,… that people hurt you. Think about your sloth act that might hurt people. I repeating again: you think everybody like you? No. ‘No’ means ‘not like you’. You’re the blackest mark upon their soul." Since then, I never make a human contact. As I told Meraq last nite on our way to berhar raya di rumah Pakcik Tan : "Aku tak nak memberi harapan palsu. That’s why it took 3 years for us to meet again."

For the first time I said, it’s Eid. So, be-light and be-heart. Swallow the truth and change yourself.